Who is Shauna?
In a nutshell… Blessed, thankful and very grateful. Well, some of you know that I lost my first husband of 10 years in a car accident just before 9-11. Twelve days to be exact. It was a "One-car, Unexplainable Accident" so the police report said. Explain that please! No answers, no one and no thing to blame. It just is... My BFF that I was going to have a "50 year" anniversary with some day was ripped away in seconds... gone. I blew kisses as he drove away for another day of work and 15 minutes later, a stranger, the wife of the only witness was at my doorstep. I wasn't informed that it was fatal until actually at the scene of the accident. When the sheriff realized I was in the passenger seat of a stranger’s car he tried to wave us to the side so I wouldn't see the devastation. My life was a perfectly put together puzzle and someone just blew it up into pieces... scattered. I felt like I was in a dream and couldn't wake up. But it wasn't a dream and it was very real. So real that my knees gave out and I collapsed into another complete stranger's arms... a moment I will never forget. It played in slow motion over and over in my head. God was present though and with me in the midst. So much to process with a million questions and yet a million more to come. The police, the firemen, the grief counselor and coroner at the scene, and family who began calling to find out what happened as word spread, bombarding me with questions… the same ones I had. I had no answers other than "I don't know" and he was just... gone. I always say I'll ask God when I get to heaven, but I know it won't really matter by then. Hmmm... strange thought, but very true. Anyway, I had quit my job the year before so our two "musician schedules" (he was a bass player) could mesh a bit more. Little did I know that it would be our last year together. God knew though and graciously enabled us to spend more QT together than ever before. The new schedule spurred a huge international family reunion so friends and family from all over the world got to see him that year and we even took a Real vacation for our 10 year anniversary! Not that family and mission trips aren’t totally awesome, but it was nice to have our first vacation... even though it was our last.
There was still smoke and debris was scattered everywhere. They sent me down the barrier to the frontage road where I had to make calls and answer questions, but they wouldn't let me see him because of the investigation. I just wanted to hold his hand before it got cold, even if they had to blindfold me. With tears in his eyes, the sheriff wanted to, but couldn't let me. He shared that they had to do a full investigation and couldn’t let anyone near the site. He was very gracious and so very sorry as he held me for a moment. He knew this was a tragic loss and said that something was “different” than others he'd experienced. His heart was truly and unexplainabily broken. When the time came to take me home, they wanted to use the back roads so I wouldn't see anything. But I had a right to see what the rest of the “one lane - I-70 onlookers” were seeing and had the driver take me down the same path so I could try to make some visual connections at some point. It didn't make sense at the time, but through that, God gave me a corner piece to my puzzle so I could begin to rebuild. Actually that's a pretty neat story in itself! Maybe I'll share that another time. I know God didn't make this happen, but He allowed it to happen for a reason that only He knows. Kevin always went after the underdog and often said, "I wish I could do more," but as stories began to pour in and as God has tenderly shared bits of our story through this broken vessel of worship, Kevin did more than he ever knew this side of heaven. God has used his life and his death in extraordinary ways crossing people groups, generations and cultures across the world. Because heaven has grown and because I know where Kevin is today, (gulp) it all has to be worth it.
I may fill you in more later as its been quite the journey between then and now. From Ground Zero after 9-11 to seeing God move in the most remote barrios of Peru, to King’s palaces. From being near homeless to watching God step in at the last moment, it’s been a road I’ve been honored to walk with my King. I may even write a book some day just to document His move after move! Most importantly though, God has been so precious to me, never leaving me, always present through every joy-filled, tragic, celebratory, heart wrenching, redeeming moment of my life. I've seen Him move in unspeakable ways and have been privileged to experience His Greatness in the depths of my own heart, to those all around the world! Through Him, I've also survived some other not so amazing situations including a failed marriage... another loss that was out of my hands. But, as I picked up the pieces, again, my God was with me every single step of the way! He never once left me hangin'! Wow... Even these years later, I'm in awe at how He's walked with me, steady by my side and carried me when I was too weak. He patched me up when I was broken, so I could press on for the moment, for the minute, for another second, another day. He kept my heart pure before Him as a devoted worshiper... regardless of circumstance. In time, His restoration and redeeming love has brought such healing from and to a broken life.
Fast forward, there’s been a lifetime within this little gap and I honestly didn't think I would be here today, alive to tell this story, but I thankfully am. And now I've been blessed beyond with a pretty incredible man that I'm not so sure is from this world, but I'm somehow privileged to call him my hubby now! He cherishes me and looks out for me, and he always has my back. (Trust me, I need it!) He honors me, supports the calling on my life and makes me laugh! A lot! Life is not perfect as we live in a fallen world, but I'm so thankful beyond words, that God uses this man to bring joy to my life in hilarious ways, even in the midst of its chaos. As I was running the other direction and from everyone who was even remotely thinking I needed someone Else in my life, God thankfully didn't listen to my prayer of "Please leave me alone in this area cuz I'm Great with me and You and You should be too!" Nope! He gave me a new BFF to spend the rest of my days here on earth with! My Larry (aka "Coach Z") is truly my gift from heaven and the cool thing is, I know that my present was hand picked! ;) So! I'm still here, still writing, still singin, still lovin on people, knowing that God has more for me to do before it’s my time to meet Him face to face!